inspirations

I go to my terrace ,singing a song to the stars .
Thinking....pondering....wondering....wishing....assuming....planning....step by step I climb....stomping my feet to the rhythm in my mind !
I'm pleased with myself....I'm too good at this beat thing !
I can sing to the beat of my stomping feet or my snapping finger or the ticking clock .....and most importantly to the beat of my own "lupp-dupp"(that's the sound of heart beating...for those who didn't care to read it in your biology books !)

"So I can be a singer : I know my voice...I know my parts....I can choose the right songs that compliment my voice.....I close my eyes and let myself sing from within ,at church . People give me a thumb's up when I let my vocal cords do the music .They like it .
I'll be doing what I want everyday of my life !"

But it doesn't sound like the thing I need .

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I look through my album....it's got colours beautifully merged ,one into the other ,on cardboard sheets.....I love glancing through my paintings .
It gives me sense of pride that I have been "chosen" to be gifted with a good sense of colour .
I can mix and splash and add and deepen and intensify .
I'm impressed .

"Imagine this room you can walk into everyday and see reflections of yourself in every handmade work of yours....how you felt whilst working on this splash of green and blue....or that merge of orange and yellow !
It's glorious....
Someday I'll share it with the world .
I'll have exhibitions.
People will simply adore me .I'll sell some .They will buy .
I'll be doing what I want everyday of my life !"

Errr.....I know I need inspiration to come along if I need to paint .
That happens very rarely .
Hence every painting of mine is precious .It has a part of me !
How can I give a part of me to every Tom,Dick and Harry .....worse still ,for a price ?
I'm priceless .
I can give it only to those who consider me the same .
This is out of question !

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I am adventurous .I love to run.....seriously !
Maybe I'm a bit too healthy to be able to move fast ....but still, I can move .
I love greenery....I love fresh air....I love to breathe and gather the freshness in me .
I love sunrises n sunsets ,streams and unprotected bridges , cliffs and it's edges ,forts and their histories ........

"Photographer then...you've taken few lovely pics .People have acknowledged
it's worth .
Ummm.....Mountaineer ?....You can climb and explore .
Go on undiscovered expeditions .
But.....What about a writer or a poet.......you're not bad....people have appreciated your thoughts .
I'll be doing what I want everyday of my life ! "

Will I..............?!!!!????(that means confusion !)

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There's an alert bell that suddenly rings......
It's my conscience again...
I've not been paying much heed to it !
I knew the "alert" bell was due sometime......
It's been bugging me with thoughts like :

"You're confused ."
"Take care of this moment and the next moment will be taken care of "
"There's only one way : Forward"
"There's a deeper essence into finding your passion "
"Be the one to lead"
"You as an individual....represent the entire universe .Yes you do....!
You are not just the subset . But the totality of it .
There is a universe called 'you'........
Why the heck would you want to live as just the subset of it .
Singing, painting ,photography ,reading ,writing ,trekking ,drama ,intellect.....whatever it maybe ,is the universe you represent .
It is you ,in whole .
Passion is this 'black hole' into which your entire universe needs to be sucked into .
Passion is that 'one' thing where your wholeness is brought into focus ,to be tested ,to be tried ,to bear .

Once this is understood you live.....
You stop existing .....you begin to live .

You can go deeper trying to find the intricacies of life or just understand that all there is to it is ' living a simple ,yet meaningful life '

That's all.....

Being great neither means ruling the world nor retiring as a sage atop the mystifying himalayas .
You can climb the ladder and keep going higher and higher .
But one day you'd stop and then look down and call 'Hello is anybody watching me.....I'm lonely ....and it's getting cold '.......and there would be no reply....!
And it will hit your being really hard that no one cares cause you never did .
And you'd fall......and what a bad fall that would be !

Go higher if you must.....
But you need to know when it becomes too high and dangerous .

After all we remember legends : People who went beyond,not higher !

The only mantra they followed : Live a simple and meaningful life .
They chose the less travelled path .
They believed .
They let their universe take them through.....

And when you've done that you can jolly well wake up every morning and say :

'I am doing what I want......... everyday of my life !' "


-source : a conscience named johnblack